Fall is here! The other day I wore a long sleeve tshirt, my friend borrowed my hoodie and I brought out my comforter. Usually I welcome fall with gladness. My birthday is during this season, I enjoy the nice crisp air and wearing my cute coats.
However this year I don’t feel the same. I need another month of summer! I feel like my grieving and depression devoured spring and part of my summer and so I wasn’t able to take full advantage of enjoying the weather. (There were a lot of weekends spent in bed) I also ended up getting a tan way too late!
I don’t look forward to fall this time because I am turning the big 3-0. Originally I had no qualms with turning a new decade, but as the date approaches, I feel the clock ticking. Not my biological clock but my achievement/goal clock. My “what have I done with my life?!” clock. It’s hard not to compare with others or not be so tough on myself.
In my new upcoming year, I vow to keep on pursuing my passions of dance and music even though I’m scared and anxious about putting myself out there. I vow to keep job and apt searching for the right opportunities. I vow not to give up on therapy and continuing to do things that make me happy.
I also vow to keep writing posts! 😉
Other reasons I’m afraid of the change of seasons are the winter hibernation weight gain and possible depression returning. Anyone out there experience Seasonal Affective Disorder? What do you do to prepare or manage it?
Time rolls on. I don’t want to waste any of it.
Guess who?!
Ramblings of a future Cat Lady 